daddy

As some of you know my dad went to the hospital tuesday morning with chest pains. He had some tests done and they found blockage in his arteries. I am here now at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore as he is having bypass surgery (double at least). For those who did know, thank you for praying. God has given me peace today and things are going well with the family. Janie (stepmom), sisters Alison, and Anna and I will be here in the waiting room all day. We had good time with daddy this morning. Alison got to show us some of her peru pictures, We read from Isaiah and Psalm 23, and prayed together. It was a good time, but we could tell daddy was scared. It is strange to see him scared. I still have some of that mindset that he is supposed to be a superhero, and this whole thing is showing at least his physical weakness. It is super hard to fight anxiety as we sit here waiting. When I think I am relaxed and trusting God, I realize that my stomac is actually in a knot. It is tense here. I struggle to put my trust in God and not in the surgeon -who is very very good, we hear- or medicine and technology. Its funny. Sometimes I think of myself as having strong faith and being really good at trusting God's sovereignty and goodness. Now I am reminded how much I need His grace and help.

Even if everything does go well they warned us that he will look bad when we see him. He may not wake up completely until around midnight. He will still have breathing tubes and all that stuff and "white and pasty and cold" is the term that the PA used. uuhhg

I have struggled to pray- maybe I am doubting that God will hear, maybe I am afraid to ask God to keep him alive because I don't want to think about all the risks. I know his chance of coming out of this really healthy and recovering well is very good, but it is still scary. I mean, it's open heart surgery. That is a big deal. But this morning I was able to intercede a little. I am thankful. Oh! I am so thankful. I am thankful that my dad went to the hospital when he did, and that he is at a good hospital. I am thankful that I was able to get here quickly and see him before the surgery. I am thankful that not even this can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus! I am thankful that God sustains us and keeps our hearts beating. I am thankful that the waiting room has plants and big windows. I am thankful that money is not a concern. I am thankful that we have 3 pounds of peanut butter that Alison insisted we bring. I am thankful that they were able to operate today and not have to wait until tomorrow. I am thankful to be with my sisters now. I love them so much.

Please pray that God would heal my daddy quickly. That we would trust in Him. Pray that we would love God more because of this. And beyond that, just pray as the Holy Spirit leads you.

Thanks friends!