Random Photo 1

Since I have been negligent about posting photos, and photos are fun, here is one:

Thanksgiving 09:
Alison, Anna, me
Daddy, Grampa, Uncle Johnny.

slavery

First post of a few on human trafficking. this one I wrote a while ago.

My thoughts on human trafficking and 21 century slavery. When slavery was abolished in the US and in Europe, it was not human nature that was changed. Some hearts were changed, but some gave up slavery with a fight. A war, in fact. And the next generation was not born with no desire to oppress their neighbors. We were not born with love for each other. That comes from God - it's a gift of grace. But our hearts are still evil! We still desire to be in control. What better way to show power than to "own" a person. I think this is a reflection of the human heart at its worst.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/7886461.stm

Social Work

Well faithful readers (all two of you), your unfaithful blogger is back. For a minute. I am going to try to be concise, so don’t expect to be entertained from this blog post- just updated.

Last year my church started the process of sending a team of missionaries to Latin America. Starting the process simply means we started looking for people to talk about partnering with. As I talked with our pastor of missions and tried to help with the search, my desires to be sent back on the mission field grew again. I started to look at my life and evaluate how I was preparing for the mission field. Maybe I should go back to school? Social work?

At a party that summer I spoke with a man who has lots of connections in the non profit world. He mentioned human trafficking – a topic that highly interests and saddens me. Modern day slavery that is underground and huge- so much bigger than most people realize. I picked his brain and my interest and hatred for the injustice grew. After that conversation I talked to my cousin who shares my feelings about the topic and also knows a lot. I started looking up organizations involved in addressing the issue, and trying to figure out how I could help- or if I should help. I learned something quickly. They need lawyers and social workers. Hmmm…

I still do not know what my role should be in the fight against human trafficking, except education. I hope to start blogging about it. Or at least pointing to other bloggers who know more than I do.

From that point on, though, I felt as if I was being swept along in a river that would lead me to a masters of social work. In a mechanical way, still not sure if I really wanted to go back to school, I went through the motions. Everything just started falling into place. I took the GRE, applied to UNC’s program, and was accepted. I felt emotionally behind my decisions last week when I sent in the tuition deposit! At the same time I have so much peace about it and I see God’s hand in every step. I am starting to get excited about the classes, what I will learn and how it will help me to care for people around me better.

Thats it. The 3 year plan of Mara's life. haha. God, my loving heavenly father knows how it will really go. Glory to Him!

poop

Alright friends, this is an old post that never got posted. just for fun.

I received a shipment a few weeks ago for an exhibit that is now open at the Museum of Natural Sciences where I work. The shipment consisted of two items. A large wooden crate, and a medium sized cardboard box. Inside the box... was poop. No kidding. As I sifted through the bubble wrap, new, offensive organic smells gave me assurance of the contents and reason to question their containment. I pulled out ziplock baggies of dried arctic animal scat. That's what scientists call it so they don't have to use the word "poop". Speaking of poop and scat- how many words do we have for poop?? now I don't want to offend anyone here, but this could turn into a really fun blog post. I am still not sure if anyone reads my blog, but if you do, please list your favorite poop word. Mine, obviously is "poop". When talking about the actual thing. If I just dropped something, I prefer "crap". Ok, back to the box. I found dall sheep poop, wolf poop, ptarmigan poop (its a bird), caribou poop (smaller than you would think), and grizzly bear poop- thats right, bear poop. big and smelly. Of course, the wolf poop looked a lot like the sample of caribou fur that came in the same box. And there was a stuffed squirrel from 1956. He smelled worse than the poop.

Apologies

Don't know how many people read this and are waiting to hear about South Africa, but to all two of you, I am sorry for taking so long. And I am sorry that I am not doing it tonight. Someday. I do have a real blog post coming... wait for it...

Happy Day

Why do I call this a happy day? because today is about 10 times better than yesterday!
Yesterday I woke up at 6:30 having angrily re-set me alarm - twice, and slept only 5.5 hours. for the third time in less than a week. Sometimes I just can't. It sucks. So yesterday I was super tired all day, so tired that fighting the sin of laziness and focusing on work was harder than normal. and its normally pretty hard for me. Then I felt guilty for wasting the day away reading the news, and blogs and searching for airline tickets for trips I may or may not take.

I sauntered home because that was about as fast as I could go, hoping to not run into anyone I know, but wishing to run into a friend I could complain to. I managed to avoid both. But on the way, God brought to mind that I should worship Him and be happy that I have the greatest gift ever- salvation! I forced out a few verses of "come thou fount" and started to feel better.

At home I declared myself a crank monster to the delight of my loving roommates. What makes them loving roommates? They listened but did not indulge self pity. They cared, and promised to pray for me. They advised me well. Char even spent over an hour working on my hair. (She does this regularly, and that is why I still have a savings account AND good looking dreadlocks - lockticians happen to cost as much as a high-end haircut, which I have never paid for)

Something about insomnia in the life of Mara- Usually it happens when I am rebelling against God in some area - not submitting to Him, not praying for someone, or about something. Sometimes it is just extra time to pray, but I rarely use it that way, I mostly waste it by getting more and more angry that I am not asleep. Sometimes I think, ok, time to get out of bed, go sit on the couch and intercede like... Barbara Thomas... or Jim Cymbala. At that moment I am usually hit by a wave of tiredness that I cave to and think - Oh! maybe I can sleep now! a few minutes later, I am wide awake again, but no longer willing to get out of bed and pray. what an infuriating cycle! Unless you see it the way God does. And I dont know how God sees it. His ways are mountains higher than mine, but I have some ideas. He wants me to experience the amazing fellowship with Him that is unique to being alone, on my knees in a sleeping house with the Holy Spirit in me slowly breaking out of the box I have put Him in and praying through my words, songs, my tears, my groans. So, he keeps me from sleeping. When I get the desire to pray and start to get out of bed, Satan gets scared and throws a flaming dart. It hits me, since my shield of faith is down, my helmet of salvation is forgotten, and my breastplate of righteousness is my own - a flimsy cotton t-shirt. (Cotton is pretty flammable). When it hits, I yield. But my loving Father does not let me sleep. He still wants to meet with me, He still wants me to grow in faith and love for Him through prayer, or through renouncing my choice idol of the week that has been stealing my affections from the Lover of my soul.

So, last night, getting in bed was scary. I normally love getting in bed, because its soft and cozy and dark and quiet and sleep is coming soon. But I was terrified of having another night like friday night (when I didn't sleep until 4am) I cringed when I saw my Bible and journal. I thank God that this is when I realized I was afraid of the wrong thing. I should fear God! I should fear a seared conscience and run TO my Savior for help instead of away from him. He is waiting to be gracious to me. I read Psalm 139 and enjoyed the sweet presence of God as I was reminded that there is no escaping Him. I confessed my disobedience in not loving others well, I experienced His amazing forgiveness and His love! As I continued to read my eyes got heavy and I even dozed off reading. Sweet sleep came! I enjoyed last night's sleep with a thankful heart and woke up very aware of God's love for me.

Today was a happy day for this reason.

To live is Christ, to die is gain

My dear Grandma died about an hour ago. In her last hours, I was at Bible study reading these words:
"We will say (to the dying), ... "Trust in God, because whether you live by faith or die by faith God will take care of those who trust in him. To live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21)
And ultimately, it is God, and not we, who decides when and how we die. He has his purposes. They are hidden from us. And faith means, we believe they are good. " from a sermon by John Piper.
I wanted to tell Grandma, but I knew she was not able to talk on the phone any more, so I prayed "God, please speak these comforting words to her now, since I cannot."

She is glorified now. Free from pain and sin and death! She is in the presence of our great and beautiful and glorious God, worshiping Him! She entered into His presence with Christ advocating for her "She is mine! I bought her with my blood!" So God looked on her with favor, with delight and said "well done, good a faithful servant."

And we are left to mourn. But... "not as those who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Glory to my loving God. He is sovereign. He is good.