rejoice in it

Random photo 2

2010-09-03T18:11:00.000-07:00

Can you guess what trip this photo is from?

i am a student..

2010-07-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

And this is what I am studying in my first class- an online class.

An examination of oppression along with social and political acts of resistance will provide an invaluable framework for (a) analyzing oppression in its present forms; (b) identifying themes and patterns in oppression and resistance throughout history; (c) understanding how power operates to foster, or to confront, oppression; and (d) acting with integrity to confront oppression.

It's amazing. I love the content. Sometimes I read about such incredible awful events- things that humans have done to other humans. And I want to throw up, or cry, or scream. I usually cry. It has been a good to remember that this is a fallen world. A very fallen, messed up world. But Jesus is coming back! He will make all things new and wipe away every tear and those who trust Jesus will worship God forever! There will be no more racism, no more poverty, no more slavery, no more abuse, no more death... amazing. I do long for heaven more as I read.

Went to Chile

2010-05-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

And I am back.
I wish I had some profound life altering revelation to share. But I do not. I think I had that long ago, and this was just confirmation. I love Latin America and I want to live there. I had more confirmation in church today when we sent out our first missionaries. I want to go. (as in "go and make disciples of all the nations").

Chile was amazing though. Such a crazy country geographically- mountains on one side and ocean on the other - it such a long skinny country. The mountains are INCREDIBLE. We were in the north so its mostly desert. crazy. God is at work. I think the most encouraging time was visiting some college students in Viña del Mar. These guys are on fire for Jesus. So excited to serve Him and tell their friends. And God is at work, saving people.

(playing catch up, so the post date is the day I started this post!)

Going to Chile

2010-04-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

That's right. 5 days from now I will be on my way to Chile. You can follow me on the TCC travel blog. I mentioned before about my church starting the process of sending a team of missionaries to Latin America... well this is the next step. Send a team to Chile for a week to see if we can find a church or group of Christians to partner with. So, this is an information gathering trip. Pray I would be a good listener and observer. (Not things I am natural at.)
Thanks for reading!
Again, my main Chile updates will be on the TCC blog

some photo fun. A practice by Thomas (practicing). Pastor Travis, our fearless leader, is diligently looking at the camera while Tiffany, Mindi and I strike our "we are having so much fun" poses and David stares out the window.

Random Photo 1

2010-04-25T18:25:00.001-07:00

Since I have been negligent about posting photos, and photos are fun, here is one:

Thanksgiving 09:
Alison, Anna, me
Daddy, Grampa, Uncle Johnny.

slavery

2010-04-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

First post of a few on human trafficking. this one I wrote a while ago.

My thoughts on human trafficking and 21 century slavery. When slavery was abolished in the US and in Europe, it was not human nature that was changed. Some hearts were changed, but some gave up slavery with a fight. A war, in fact. And the next generation was not born with no desire to oppress their neighbors. We were not born with love for each other. That comes from God - it's a gift of grace. But our hearts are still evil! We still desire to be in control. What better way to show power than to "own" a person. I think this is a reflection of the human heart at its worst.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_depth/7886461.stm

Social Work

2010-04-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well faithful readers (all two of you), your unfaithful blogger is back. For a minute. I am going to try to be concise, so don’t expect to be entertained from this blog post- just updated.

Last year my church started the process of sending a team of missionaries to Latin America. Starting the process simply means we started looking for people to talk about partnering with. As I talked with our pastor of missions and tried to help with the search, my desires to be sent back on the mission field grew again. I started to look at my life and evaluate how I was preparing for the mission field. Maybe I should go back to school? Social work?

At a party that summer I spoke with a man who has lots of connections in the non profit world. He mentioned human trafficking – a topic that highly interests and saddens me. Modern day slavery that is underground and huge- so much bigger than most people realize. I picked his brain and my interest and hatred for the injustice grew. After that conversation I talked to my cousin who shares my feelings about the topic and also knows a lot. I started looking up organizations involved in addressing the issue, and trying to figure out how I could help- or if I should help. I learned something quickly. They need lawyers and social workers. Hmmm…

I still do not know what my role should be in the fight against human trafficking, except education. I hope to start blogging about it. Or at least pointing to other bloggers who know more than I do.

From that point on, though, I felt as if I was being swept along in a river that would lead me to a masters of social work. In a mechanical way, still not sure if I really wanted to go back to school, I went through the motions. Everything just started falling into place. I took the GRE, applied to UNC’s program, and was accepted. I felt emotionally behind my decisions last week when I sent in the tuition deposit! At the same time I have so much peace about it and I see God’s hand in every step. I am starting to get excited about the classes, what I will learn and how it will help me to care for people around me better.

Thats it. The 3 year plan of Mara's life. haha. God, my loving heavenly father knows how it will really go. Glory to Him!

poop

2009-11-02T16:19:00.000-08:00

Alright friends, this is an old post that never got posted. just for fun.

I received a shipment a few weeks ago for an exhibit that is now open at the Museum of Natural Sciences where I work. The shipment consisted of two items. A large wooden crate, and a medium sized cardboard box. Inside the box... was poop. No kidding. As I sifted through the bubble wrap, new, offensive organic smells gave me assurance of the contents and reason to question their containment. I pulled out ziplock baggies of dried arctic animal scat. That's what scientists call it so they don't have to use the word "poop". Speaking of poop and scat- how many words do we have for poop?? now I don't want to offend anyone here, but this could turn into a really fun blog post. I am still not sure if anyone reads my blog, but if you do, please list your favorite poop word. Mine, obviously is "poop". When talking about the actual thing. If I just dropped something, I prefer "crap". Ok, back to the box. I found dall sheep poop, wolf poop, ptarmigan poop (its a bird), caribou poop (smaller than you would think), and grizzly bear poop- thats right, bear poop. big and smelly. Of course, the wolf poop looked a lot like the sample of caribou fur that came in the same box. And there was a stuffed squirrel from 1956. He smelled worse than the poop.

Apologies

2009-10-01T20:00:00.001-07:00

Don't know how many people read this and are waiting to hear about South Africa, but to all two of you, I am sorry for taking so long. And I am sorry that I am not doing it tonight. Someday. I do have a real blog post coming... wait for it...

Happy Day

2009-09-29T20:01:00.000-07:00

Why do I call this a happy day? because today is about 10 times better than yesterday!
Yesterday I woke up at 6:30 having angrily re-set me alarm - twice, and slept only 5.5 hours. for the third time in less than a week. Sometimes I just can't. It sucks. So yesterday I was super tired all day, so tired that fighting the sin of laziness and focusing on work was harder than normal. and its normally pretty hard for me. Then I felt guilty for wasting the day away reading the news, and blogs and searching for airline tickets for trips I may or may not take.

I sauntered home because that was about as fast as I could go, hoping to not run into anyone I know, but wishing to run into a friend I could complain to. I managed to avoid both. But on the way, God brought to mind that I should worship Him and be happy that I have the greatest gift ever- salvation! I forced out a few verses of "come thou fount" and started to feel better.

At home I declared myself a crank monster to the delight of my loving roommates. What makes them loving roommates? They listened but did not indulge self pity. They cared, and promised to pray for me. They advised me well. Char even spent over an hour working on my hair. (She does this regularly, and that is why I still have a savings account AND good looking dreadlocks - lockticians happen to cost as much as a high-end haircut, which I have never paid for)

Something about insomnia in the life of Mara- Usually it happens when I am rebelling against God in some area - not submitting to Him, not praying for someone, or about something. Sometimes it is just extra time to pray, but I rarely use it that way, I mostly waste it by getting more and more angry that I am not asleep. Sometimes I think, ok, time to get out of bed, go sit on the couch and intercede like... Barbara Thomas... or Jim Cymbala. At that moment I am usually hit by a wave of tiredness that I cave to and think - Oh! maybe I can sleep now! a few minutes later, I am wide awake again, but no longer willing to get out of bed and pray. what an infuriating cycle! Unless you see it the way God does. And I dont know how God sees it. His ways are mountains higher than mine, but I have some ideas. He wants me to experience the amazing fellowship with Him that is unique to being alone, on my knees in a sleeping house with the Holy Spirit in me slowly breaking out of the box I have put Him in and praying through my words, songs, my tears, my groans. So, he keeps me from sleeping. When I get the desire to pray and start to get out of bed, Satan gets scared and throws a flaming dart. It hits me, since my shield of faith is down, my helmet of salvation is forgotten, and my breastplate of righteousness is my own - a flimsy cotton t-shirt. (Cotton is pretty flammable). When it hits, I yield. But my loving Father does not let me sleep. He still wants to meet with me, He still wants me to grow in faith and love for Him through prayer, or through renouncing my choice idol of the week that has been stealing my affections from the Lover of my soul.

So, last night, getting in bed was scary. I normally love getting in bed, because its soft and cozy and dark and quiet and sleep is coming soon. But I was terrified of having another night like friday night (when I didn't sleep until 4am) I cringed when I saw my Bible and journal. I thank God that this is when I realized I was afraid of the wrong thing. I should fear God! I should fear a seared conscience and run TO my Savior for help instead of away from him. He is waiting to be gracious to me. I read Psalm 139 and enjoyed the sweet presence of God as I was reminded that there is no escaping Him. I confessed my disobedience in not loving others well, I experienced His amazing forgiveness and His love! As I continued to read my eyes got heavy and I even dozed off reading. Sweet sleep came! I enjoyed last night's sleep with a thankful heart and woke up very aware of God's love for me.

Today was a happy day for this reason.

To live is Christ, to die is gain

2009-06-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

My dear Grandma died about an hour ago. In her last hours, I was at Bible study reading these words:
"We will say (to the dying), ... "Trust in God, because whether you live by faith or die by faith God will take care of those who trust in him. To live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21)
And ultimately, it is God, and not we, who decides when and how we die. He has his purposes. They are hidden from us. And faith means, we believe they are good. " from a sermon by John Piper.
I wanted to tell Grandma, but I knew she was not able to talk on the phone any more, so I prayed "God, please speak these comforting words to her now, since I cannot."

She is glorified now. Free from pain and sin and death! She is in the presence of our great and beautiful and glorious God, worshiping Him! She entered into His presence with Christ advocating for her "She is mine! I bought her with my blood!" So God looked on her with favor, with delight and said "well done, good a faithful servant."

And we are left to mourn. But... "not as those who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep." 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Glory to my loving God. He is sovereign. He is good.

even more amazing

2009-03-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

This morning, I had a hard time getting my mind off the events of last night. I mean, it's pretty incredible to see something as big, and stable, and seemingly grounded and constant as a car all crazily perched on top of another car. "Awesome" as Char said in her interview with the the news station. "but not in a good way, more like a volcano exploding" Oh, I hope we get a copy of that interview- she was pretty funny. back to my point. So, I was distracted as I sat down to read God's word and pray this morning. I asked God to give me love for His Word, and He did!! As I finished reading I was even more blown away by the promises and truths God revealed to me than by the events of the night before. Glory to God.

I read Revelation 5...
John was weeping loudly because it looked like no one would be able to open the scroll (I am not sure, yet, what is written on this scroll) Then one of the elders told him...
There IS someone who can open the scroll! The Lion of Judah, the Root of David, the one who conquered, the One who was slain and whose blood ransomed people for God! Amazing! not just people, but people from EVERY tongue and tribe and nation! OH, how glorious and awesome is that?! And then all the elders and angels and creatures bowing down and worshiping Jesus! Its beyond words!

the night my car jumped on char's car

2009-03-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

First, I have to assure you all- no one was hurt - the only person involved in this wreck was the hit and run driver who we assume was wasted, and he, or she, was ok enough to speed away. Knowing that, please be amazed with me at the scene that we woke up to at 1am last night.

Yeah, so apparently this person was driving a crown victoria, fast on the wrong side of the road, smashed into my car pushing it up on Char's car, then sped away. The students at Shaw who were awake heard it happen and then saw the car but not the plate number.

Obviously, we are so thankful that our empty cars were hit and not people or cars with people in them. Praise God for that! He is sovereign and good.

Goodbye cars! They were towed off to salvage land together.

a preview of the adventures to come

2009-03-12T19:19:00.000-07:00

how to find a lost object

2009-03-03T19:38:00.000-08:00

Seriously. I found this. Don't ask me how. I think I was looking for images for work (something about Mayan chocolate) and somehow ended up at this entertaining site. Enjoy.

a common scenario

2009-02-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

funny, yet tue.

Joanna recently recommended a book to me. I have not read it yet, but I thought this illustration (pg 14) was worth sharing.

Anyone experienced this before? Can we agree that this happens at least 80% of the time to varying degrees?

As Joanna said:
"It's true. The girl is thinking about having children, and the guy is thinking about ice cream." I mean, probably literally if they are at Ben and Jerrys.
I suppose I should give a reference.
A Guys Guide to Marrying Well. Found at boundless.org. I know I know. 1. I am not a guy, 2. Marriage is not in the near future for me. But I hear its a good book, and I mean, just look at the picture! :)

pursuing righteousness?

2009-02-06T19:35:00.001-08:00

You remember my post about the pirate who loved money and died trying to keep it. Well, I read this story about a customs official in Liberia who did not love money. At least not enough to accept a huge bribe for letting some cocaine through. It happened two years ago, but recently Mr. Karyea was honored by the President of Liberia for his integrity. Perhaps he was fleeing the love of money and pursuing righteousness and godliness...

1 Timothy 6:10-11

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. But as for you o man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

good book

2009-02-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

I recently had to leave the Land family where Leif Enger stopped telling their story in his book Peace Like a River. And as often happens when I read, I imagine that I, too, have writing skills as genius and entertaining as this author. Perhaps I am fooling you in this post. I must confess that each of these decent sentences is hard work. Each one takes intense concentration and a good amount of delete and rewrite before I move on. For that reason, I stop here. Seriously though, it's a novel written in beautiful prose that makes you want to live in it - well that is probably the story line, that is so compelling I find myself almost praying for the characters.

a peice of the definition of "good design"

2009-01-16T15:20:00.000-08:00

How interesting!
Sustainability- not just related to our environment but having to do with the lifespan of the product and company...

the love of money

2009-01-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

I read an article that I think may illustrate amazingly the passage that we are memorizing. On the other hand, the whole situation in Somalia makes me sad. I know people are desperate.

I am not going say I know that the pirate who drowned with $153,000 of ransom money in his pocket was being judged by God... but its hard not to assume that, and it is likely. The only ones who survived the storm lost their money in the water. Read the article though.

And God's Word says:
1 Timothy 6:6-10
6Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, 7for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

sweet architecture

2009-01-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

I just found this amazing building in NY- the New Muesuem. its good. my verbal skills are limited at the moment, so just read the article.

His ways are higher than ours!

2008-12-02T09:13:00.001-08:00

I changed the title (from He IS good). Because God giving Zoe to Dan and Casey does not make Him good. He is good and we just understand this goodness better than the goodness in Asher dying.

Im also adding photos!!

So, remember my friends Dan and Casey? They lost their baby, Asher, soon after he was born. I have been constantly encouraged by their faith, honesty and trust in God as they grieve.

Now they have a baby girl! It all happened very very fast. Less than two weeks ago they were applying for adoption, then a birth mother chose them last week and yesterday she gave birth to Zoe Elizabeth!

Read the stories! Be encouraged! He is at work and His timing is perfect. This is why I am pro-life.

I love politics

2008-10-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

(right from the start, lets clarify that the title is all sarcasm)
Although, I have been more encouraged recently and despairing less after reading a good article and listening to a good sermon. They both helped me know how to approach the election.

To summarize: we should not panic about not having the perfect presidential candidate, but we should pray for both to be good leaders AND love Jesus! And we should pray that babies do not get aborted AND that the poor are taken care of. And we should not base our joy on the person we think would make the best president being elected, neither should we despair if the other guy gets elected. God is God and He is sovereign weather the world falls apart or holds toegether! How great is that!? God's ordains good and bad leaders and none of them are saviors. Jesus is our Savior.

dreadlocks

2008-10-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

much requested photos of the latest hair.
description: curly immature dreadlocks. and my friend Josey :)

friday night fun

2008-10-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

A co-worker asked me today if I was going out tonight. "No... I am babysitting" This may have sounded lame to her, especially since I am single and live downtown and way beyond babysitting age. But I was actually just as excited about this friday night as I have been about many fun parties and First Fridays downtown. It's because I got to be with some of my favorite kids. here is a link to the Cordell's blog. You can't tell how fun they are from looking, but just imagine. :) Read their adoption story! It's beautiful.

So after the boys were in bed I was playing with Mercy downstairs. I decided I should sing with her. She is one of my Sunday School kids who never comes (she naps instead) so I try to make up for it when I see her. So we sang Jesus Loves Me. I mean, of course I sang it. But the fun part was the look on her face. She stopped squirming and reaching for my hair and sat still for the whole song. And at first I thought she was contemplating the theological signifigance of being loved by the King of the universe. (I pray she will one day) Then I thought maybe that was a look of confusion and dissapointment at the sound of my voice compared to her mommy's, (she really looked at me like "are you singing to me? you're kidding" :) Either way, she heard truth and we had fun together.

update on the hair

2008-10-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

I do think its time for a light-hearted and shallow entry about my hair. I feel somewhat vain writing about this, and I think sometimes i am. you can pray for me about that. But I think it will make some of you smile to hear this story.

One of my tasks at work is to take temperature and humidity readings from the scroll cases, and the organics cases. You see, the scrolls and organics must be at a specific temperature and humidity or else they will start to fall apart and Israel will come and take them away from us. So, we have to take readings and send them to the people in Israel once a week so they know that everything is ok. Its kind of fun to take the readings because I get to leave my little office in the corner of the basement, walk by the waterfall and I get to see the scolls. So, monday I was dutifully and diligently performing this task. I had finished in the quiet, mystical, scroll room and was onto the next room. I passed a group of teenagers sitting on a bench. about 3 girls and one boy, all african american(this is relevant). Obviously a high school group that was not really interested in the exhibit. They were talking loudly and, about my hair! I smiled to myself and finished downloading the data from a case. One girl called me over. "Can I see your hair?" I walked over to them. "How does a white girl get dreadlocks?" "I mean how did you get those?" Before I could answer her friend in a voice of equal decibles scolded her "You don't know she's white! make sure shes white!" Girl 1 looked back at me "you're white, right?" The docent was trying to hush the kids (usually at this point in the exhibit people are soaking in as much information as they can and quietly waiting their turn to enter the sacred scroll room, but i guess that is beacuse most groups that visit the exhibit weekdays at lunchtime are elderly women from Baptist churches in rural north carolina towns) but she was amused too and was very kind about it. I tried to help "shhhhh... yes, I'm white" (not sure if I ever had to clarify that before) "how did you get dreads? did you go to an african beauty salon?" I remembed the hours of backcombing and saltwater at the cabin- definately not. "no, my sisters did it for me." Girl 1: "Oh" "I didn't know white people could get dreads" Me: "I'm trying, it's hard" Girl 1: "well, I like it" I was touched. I always am, becuse this stage of dreadlocks is hard, some days I want to give up. We chatted some more before I moved onto the next room. It was swarming with teenagers zooming through the exhibit. (Most people take 1-2 hours to get through it, and it was only 20 minutes after the exhibit had opened and they were already near the end). I checked some cases, then crossed the room and found another kid looking at my hair (this one was white). Maybe he heard the conversation in the other room. with a sincere and serious look on his face he said "those dreads are beautiful" I assumed he was not mocking and thanked him for the compliment. laughing inside and planning to blog about my trip to exhibit.

science and truth

2008-09-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

Science is reliable, right? So, working at the Museum of Natural Sciences, things come up that I am not sure what to do with. Like yesterday. I was sitting in a meeting and someone expressed how important it is to have an exhibit that explains how we know how old things are. This comment followed: "yeah! we have these baptists coming in thinking the world is only 5000 years old!" I shot out of my chair and whipped out my reformation study Bible and started yelling Genesis... sike.

haha.

Now, I knew this would be a part of my job. Being surrounded by evolutionists. I am ok with that. I go back and forth though. I mean, God is sovereign and that is so much more important than how he created earth. Why would there be so much evidence of a really old earth if its not true? I thought Jesus was the stumbling block, not the age of the earth. I guess it is all connected. This is what was running through my head yesterday as the people around me so matter-of-factly wrote off creationists as deceived or uninformed. I think the hardest part is that the scientists I work with know much more than I do about archeology, etc. I know all about salvation through Christ alone, who is the way the truth and the life (halleluia!) But all I know about dating the earth is what people tell me, so how do I know what to believe? It also hit me that I need to be careful that I don't conclude that the whole creation story is symbolic and not literal. Perhaps, it is often misinterpreted, perhaps not, but it is truth. And if I let myself believe that one part of the Bible is symbolic, what about the rest?... I am weak and my heart and mind are prone to wander from the Truth and the One who stustains me and keeps me in His grace.

Then there is Mary Schweitzer who was also at this meeting. I think Mary is a Christian. She discovered soft tissue on a T-rex bone. Creationists said "you see! the world is only 5000 years old!" Mary and evolutionists said "That's amazing that the soft tissue survived millions of years!" .. sigh.. So, one goal I have for the next 12 months is to have a conversation with Mary Schweitzer. I appreciate that she looks at whats seems to be evidence of evolution and she sees the hand of an all powerful God and gives Him glory for it. It would also be good to talk to some creationist scientists.

Science is not God. God is completely sovereign and He created the universe by speaking words. He is over all and in all. I love these truths! I love God that He understands how all of this fits together. I love that as smart as we think we are, we still can't grasp the concept of a three person God, or a good God who allows/ordains evil, or an earth that seems to be billions of years old, but smashed into 5000 years. Our minds are limited. I am thankful that God is infinately smarter than us.

Yes! Please comment! I would love to hear your thoughts.

Bike Trip Crazy summer 08

2008-08-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

One day, Joanna said to me "Mara, I want to ride my bike to the beach." This was only a few days after we had a crazy adventure of... watching a movie... on a weeknight. So, after a short conversation I realized that she was serious about it. So the dream became a reality as plans fell into place. We had a welcome team/ride home going to Topsail Saturday morning, and about 10 other people waiting for our cry of distress phone call to come get us.

Last friday we packed a duffle bag with food, pjs, inner tube patch kits and cameras. We strapped it to my brand new luggage rack with a long bungi cord, a webbing strap, and a woven belt from Central America. We looked a little rough, but the pack was secure, and we were ready. We mounted our bikes and started pedaling.

4 liters of water, 3 rest/adjustment stops, and 5 photos later we arrived at the Village moter lodge in Smithfield. I went inside to pay for the room while Joanna called anxious family members to announce our safe arrival. As I waited to be helped my legs started to feel funny like a slight burning sensation. I started pacing in the lobby. After 5 minutes of waiting I thought it would be good to streatch. So I went outside and paced and streatched and paced a streatched untill a man came out and asked me if we were going to get a room or what and I'd better be 21. ha. I looked at a Joanna in her layered bike clothes snapping photos of the hotel, our bikes rigged for touring and myself sniffling and wiping my nose on a bandana, helmet off to reveal very new and struggling dreadlocks, and realized that I didn't think I was physically able of standing still. So we paid for that room, passed the ID check. (by 6 years!) and then they were happy.

Wow. We slept like rocks. It was amazing. So thankful we went for the hotel instead of a campsite with no tent. 6:30am Saturday, with a few mini sarah lee muffins digesting and fresh energy we set off on the next 106 miles of our trip. The ride was beautiful, with the sun rising over the trees on fields and cow pastures. Many good photo ops. It was a good morning. We even got to ride side by side and discuss motivation for missions verses other occupations. When we were not chatting or singing, I daydreamed about swimming in the ocean, playing in the sand, and our glorious entry as we rode into the parkin lot. The entire trip we only missed one or two turns and didn't go far before we realized the mistake. Google maps (walking directions modified) was super helpful and accurate... untill we got to the street that was to take us safely over or under US 117. Baker Chapel Church Rd. was our road at the time. We were enjoying the flat scenic road until we passed a "no outlet" sign. All big and yellow and official. We stopped and re-read the directions, pulled out the map and decided to see what "no outlet" really meant. We took a picture of what we found.

What you can't see is that there is a fence on the other side of the bushes. Beyond the fence is US-117. And beyond that... we could only hope for something good. Back to the map. But the map showed Baker Chapel Church turning into McKees Oil County rd on the other side of the highway. And, we would have to add another 3-5 miles to our trip. That could take half an hour, and we would risk getting lost. So, still feeling adventerous, we found a part of the fence that was low and started bushwacking our way toward it. As we struggled to get one of the bikes through the bushes I could feel my patience coming to a halt. I was super uncomfortable, and pretty fed up with the bike that wouldn't budge.... and my legs... they were... warm. I looked down to find in my struggles I had flattened a huge fire ant hill. The occupants were pretty upset and in a matter seconds had retaliated. About 50 of them were attached to my ankles just above my sock line and were pumping my skin with poison. Not having previous experience with fire ants, and still struggling with the bike, I was pretty slow to react. But eventually I realized my task- get them off. I found a piney area a few feet away and tore off my shoes and socks, yelling and sweating. Meanwhile, Joanna continued to drag the bike through the bushes and over the ant hill. Still angry, the ants quickly attacked her chacoed feet. So we sat yelling obscenities and killing the ants. But obscenities I of course mean things like "aaahhhhggg" and "This is how people go crazy!" and "yaahhhhhh". Not saying we did not want to yell other things.

Ten minutes later, we hoisted the bikes over the fence and emerged from the bushes to face the traffic. "My feet feel warm" said Joanna. I looked down. My ankles were red and puffy all around my sock line. They looked like they were exploding out of my socks. We carefully crossed the highway and found ourselves facing a 6' fence with a single line of barbed wire at the top as far as we could see in each direction. Sigh. "Maybe we should have taken the long way around." "Well, at least this will be a fun story to tell" After a 5 minute walk along the side of the highway, dodging numerous fire ant hills, we found our beloved barbed wire break. The fence was lower too.

So, we reached Mckees Oil County rd, found the town of Mt. Olive where we bought gatorate, filled up on water and ate a quick lunch. Back on the road. As we pedaled I watched the odometer/speedometer/clock. I started to do some calculations based on the numbers flashing at me. Little by little it began to sink in that, at the rate we were going, including stops, we may get to the beach around 7pm... IF we didn't have any more Fire Ant incidents or Incorrect Directions incidents. And IF we kept up the pace we were going, wich was hard. I calculated again. maybe 6:30 if we didn't stop as much. but we needed to stop. We dropped things and found things and we needed to eat and use the bathroom. Stopping was essential. 8pm was a realistic estimate. I had secretly hoped to leave the beach by 7pm to go back to Raleigh. I calculated again. 7pm was still generous. We kept riding. I confessed to Joanna how much I was putting my hope in the beach and not in Jesus. She prayed for me. I calcuated again. Realisticly, 8pm. I was tired. I also had a hard time breathing, and I felt low on energy but I didn't feel like eating. So we kept going. Finally, all the anxiety that I had been building up just bubbled over and came out in the form of tears and panic. We found a shady spot and I prepared to vomit. I didn't. I just cried and sucked air as if there was a shortage. It was pathetic. I wish Joanna had been mean enough to take some pictures of me sprawled out in the dirt. Instead she called Blair. And then insisted we continue.

I put the odometer in my pocket and drafted off Joanna as we pushed forward. As we rode, she made plans with blair about picking us up. Basically we keep riding until we see him. We did. We rested alot and drank alot of water. And oh what a glorious moment when the powervan came around the bend! We had biked over 100 miles. Blair drove us all the way back to the beach where we were greeted by our oh so supportive friends and an incredible sand sculpture of sponge bob square pants riding a bike.

The beach was AMAZING. All of a sudden I had plenty of energy to swim and swim and get buried in the sand. Pictured is Ben, Joanna, and the two headed Mara- "which is her real face?"

On the way home we stopped for dinner and I eaten about half of my subway sandwich when my body started to shut down again. It was kind of like I had just enough energy to stay awake and sitting up, so thats what I did, and nothing else. I didn't even think. It was a strange feeling. Not bad, but definately not good.

Sunday morning, I was amazed at how good I felt. Like everything was back to normal. My knee was a bit sore, and we still had welts on our feet. But, other than that, I felt great!

Morals of the story:
1. Fire ants are really nasty, and they have a very appropriate name.
2. Google maps is USUALLY right
3. God is the one who sustains me and gives me life and breath and energy. I can do nothing apart from His grace and I can do everything through Him who strengthens me.

all done

2008-08-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

that is a relative statement though. Apparently these things are somewhat high maintenance. and they will look better in a few months. supposedly.

and those are my dear sisters Alison and Anna, who worked hard all weekend on this.

dreadlocks proccess

2008-08-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

Alison and Andrew at work on my hair

enduring pain

2008-08-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

As serious as that may sound, this is not real pain. I mean it is relatively minor physical pain. Not emotional. And I am choosing to experience this pain. No, not masochism. My dear sisters are giving me dreadlocks. So exciting. As I enjoy the beautiful woods, Anna is intentionally knotting my hair into thick fuzzy strands. To dispel any concerns- despite rumors, dreads don't have to be dirty. I will continue to wash my hair regularly, and I will not be putting glue or peanut butter in my hair (just beeswax).

Why? Because I think dreadlocks are super cool looking and I have wanted them for years. Various weddings, interviews and rational fears have prevented me until now. my friend Danish (Diane) has inspired me as she had some sweet dreads and much of her hair survived when they came out.

what else? they are fuzzy. I will have 27 when its all done. My sisters really love me. my mom tried to talk me out of it. i like dreads. i don't smoke pot.

photos to come soon.

Vacation

2008-08-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

Here we are sitting on the back deck of our little cabin in wild and wonderful West Virginia. Trees are amazing. I mean, we have trees in raleigh, but as I sit here and listen to the wind blowing through the leaves, I am reminded of the mirical that is creation. I mean, if you didn't see trees all the time, just the size of them would blow you away! They are huge! And the color? Such a beautiful green. Ohh, God is amazing. He is so creative, and He has the perfect balance of functionality and beauty. The greatest Designer ever!

Mourn with those who mourn

2008-08-11T16:39:00.001-07:00

Dan and Casey's blog tells the story well.
http://caseychappell.typepad.com/baby/

We have been mourning the death of their newborn son, Asher.

In the midst of sorrow and not understanding, God has made it clear to us- He is good! He is sovereign, and therefore, He is the one who took Asher. But He is good! Praise Him! We do not mourn as those who have no hope.

From Lamentations 3

13 He drove into my kidneys
the arrows of his quiver;
14 I have become the laughingstock of all peoples,
the object of their taunts all day long.
15 He has filled me with bitterness;
he has sated me with wormwood.

16 He has made my teeth grind on gravel,
and made me cower in ashes;
17 my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
18 so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the Lord.”

19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
20 My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man that he bear
the yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone in silence
when it is laid on him;
29 let him put his mouth in the dust—
there may yet be hope;
30 let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,
and let him be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not cast off forever,
32 but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
33 for he does not willingly afflict
or grieve the children of men.

34 To crush underfoot all the prisoners of the earth,
35 to deny a man justice
in the presence of the Most High,
36 to subvert a man in his lawsuit,
the Lord does not approve.

37 Who has spoken and it came to pass,
unless the Lord has commanded it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that good and bad come?
39 Why should a living man complain,
a man, about the punishment of his sins?

40 Let us test and examine our ways,
and return to the Lord!
41 Let us lift up our hearts and hands
to God in heaven:
42 “We have transgressed and rebelled,
and you have not forgiven.

43 “You have wrapped yourself with anger and pursued us,
killing without pity;
44 you have wrapped yourself with a cloud
so that no prayer can pass through.
45 You have made us scum and garbage
among the peoples.

46 “All our enemies
open their mouths against us;
47 panic and pitfall have come upon us,
devastation and destruction;
48 my eyes flow with rivers of tears
because of the destruction of the daughter of my people.

49 “My eyes will flow without ceasing,
without respite,
50 until the Lord from heaven
looks down and sees;
51 my eyes cause me grief
at the fate of all the daughters of my city.

52 “I have been hunted like a bird
by those who were my enemies without cause;
53 they flung me alive into the pit
and cast stones on me;
54 water closed over my head;
I said, ‘I am lost.’

55 “I called on your name, O Lord,
from the depths of the pit;
56 you heard my plea, ‘Do not close
your ear to my cry for help!’
57 You came near when I called on you;
you said, ‘Do not fear!’

recovery

2008-08-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry readers! I just did not feel like blogging for a while there.

My dad is recovering so well! He is walking a mile at a time now and not even feeling much pain. I have only talked to him on the phone but he sounds better every time. I am super encouraged.

Yes, my faith was a bit pathetic for a while there. I think all the anxiety and fear and emotions just crashed down on me after the surgery since I did not have much time to experience them before. I was rebellious about pouring out my heart to God too. (meaning, i didn't) It was a fight and fighting with God is never good. But He is SO faithful and gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. He changed my heart and renewed my love for Him and my joy in salvation. And what joy!

Dana reminded me that God gave my dad a new heart. He spared his life! That is something to be thankful for! I have been learning to trust God in a new way- this whole thing has reminded me that God is sovereign. He gives and takes away. If my hope is not in Him, I will be dissapointed, I will fall, and be flung into despair and hopelessness.

So, its a miracle. God gave the doctors understanding and knowledge to perform such an intense surgery. God provided all the technology and medicine through other people who he gave wisdom, and God is healing my dad. So glory and praise be to God!

Did you know that in bypass surgery, they stop your heart, put you on a machine that pumps blood and breathes for you, and they take your heart out, and put it on a table while they operate on it? Is that not amazing?! Then, they put it back in, sew you up and you are up and walking around the next day. Tell me that is not a miracle. (I know, i doubted too).

walking

2008-07-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

Daddy went for a walk today. They took out his chest drainage tube and he was totally free of tubes! Well, he has the portable heart monitor and the IV. We walked down the hallway, into the waiting room and back to the room. It was so great to see him standing up and moving around. more later perhaps

weak faith

2008-07-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Ok friends, I need to be really honest here. I am struggling. My faith is so weak. I am rarely feeling God's presence, and I know that is not because He is far. I am not fighting to believe His promises and I am failing to pour out my heart to Him. I hear the scriptures you tell me, I read the promises in the Bible, but I doubt. I am thankful that I know in my head that not even my own doubt can separate me from God. I am thankful that God is faithful no matter what.

recovery and exhaustion

2008-07-25T19:19:00.001-07:00

We got to visit my dad twice today in the ICU. He was sitting up and eating and went for a little walk today! He ate real food for lunch- that was happy. He was a little more grumpy today as I think some of the reality is setting in. It was so good to spend time with him though. So good to have conversations with him and just see him recovering.

Alison and are handling this similarly. We slept for the hour drive home and then took naps in our beds. Emotional exhaustion is the term we use. Anna went swimming.

Again, thank you so so much for praying and encouraging me with phone calls and scripture. Please keep praying for my dad's recovery- Oh! He is breathing very well, so pneumonia is not even a big threat right now. And pray for all of us to find our strength and hope and joy in God and trust Him. Oh I need much strength right now. And give glory and thanks to God for hearing our prayers and showing His healing power!

happy update

2008-07-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

Friends,
Great news! We got to see daddy around 5 pm today. He was sleeping and still had a breathing tube, but he looked SO good. Not white or cold at all! He just looked like daddy sleeping. THEN we got to see him again at 8:30 and he was awake! Praise God! He was possibly not going to be awake until midnight. Anyway, so we got to talk to him and he was funny and himself. We decided that a catheter could be useful for not having to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. He is going to market it using the following awesome slogan. "clap clap catheter" (clap on, clap off). Yes. And he was so encouraged to hear about all of you praying for him and you care and concern. And Andrew, Alison's boyfriend sent flowers. (awwww) And daddy really appreciated that. I am so thankful and relieved that he is doing well. All glory to God! Praise Him that he is so faithful and the healer and He hears our prayers! He is healing daddy quickly!

I am really happy to be at home right now (in silver spring).
Please keep praying. Pray that God would continue to strengthen us as it is very draining to be in a waiting room all day. Pray that I would learn to rely on God's strength and not my own. On my own, I would not be able to do this.
Pray I would be bold to give glory to God.

I am so thankful for all of you and your care for me and my family and for your encouraging emails and phone calls! I praise God for you!

May you see God's hand in this situation and love Him more because of it!!
Mara

daddy

2008-07-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

As some of you know my dad went to the hospital tuesday morning with chest pains. He had some tests done and they found blockage in his arteries. I am here now at Sinai Hospital in Baltimore as he is having bypass surgery (double at least). For those who did know, thank you for praying. God has given me peace today and things are going well with the family. Janie (stepmom), sisters Alison, and Anna and I will be here in the waiting room all day. We had good time with daddy this morning. Alison got to show us some of her peru pictures, We read from Isaiah and Psalm 23, and prayed together. It was a good time, but we could tell daddy was scared. It is strange to see him scared. I still have some of that mindset that he is supposed to be a superhero, and this whole thing is showing at least his physical weakness. It is super hard to fight anxiety as we sit here waiting. When I think I am relaxed and trusting God, I realize that my stomac is actually in a knot. It is tense here. I struggle to put my trust in God and not in the surgeon -who is very very good, we hear- or medicine and technology. Its funny. Sometimes I think of myself as having strong faith and being really good at trusting God's sovereignty and goodness. Now I am reminded how much I need His grace and help.

Even if everything does go well they warned us that he will look bad when we see him. He may not wake up completely until around midnight. He will still have breathing tubes and all that stuff and "white and pasty and cold" is the term that the PA used. uuhhg

I have struggled to pray- maybe I am doubting that God will hear, maybe I am afraid to ask God to keep him alive because I don't want to think about all the risks. I know his chance of coming out of this really healthy and recovering well is very good, but it is still scary. I mean, it's open heart surgery. That is a big deal. But this morning I was able to intercede a little. I am thankful. Oh! I am so thankful. I am thankful that my dad went to the hospital when he did, and that he is at a good hospital. I am thankful that I was able to get here quickly and see him before the surgery. I am thankful that not even this can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus! I am thankful that God sustains us and keeps our hearts beating. I am thankful that the waiting room has plants and big windows. I am thankful that money is not a concern. I am thankful that we have 3 pounds of peanut butter that Alison insisted we bring. I am thankful that they were able to operate today and not have to wait until tomorrow. I am thankful to be with my sisters now. I love them so much.

Please pray that God would heal my daddy quickly. That we would trust in Him. Pray that we would love God more because of this. And beyond that, just pray as the Holy Spirit leads you.

Thanks friends!

Job excitement

2008-05-30T17:35:00.001-07:00

Wow! How good is God!? I got a call today from the Museum of Natural Sciences, and they want to hire me! I said yes. :) I am super excited and thankful that God has given me such an exciting job. So many things about it are really great. I get to do exhibit design. I can walk to work, or bike. I get to learn science things, and design about them. And I get to design. I work for the state, so I get great benefits. Wow. I only applied to one job, and this is it- AND God provided a temporary job while I waited for this job that was also exhibit design! I am so thankful. oh.. it gets better...
So, the first project I will be working on is helping to get ready for the the Dead Sea Scrolls! What? I get to help set up the copies of scripture that the early Church read!! How amazing is that. I was not so sure about the job a week ago, so I was praying that God would just make it clear to me what I should do if they offered it. And He did. He gave me such and excitement about the job.

Thanks for reading and sharing my joy. Glory to God.

Target Mouse (a poem)

2008-03-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

I bought a mouse at Target
The mouse with a belly to hold my hand
ergonomic and healthy, it passed the test
the price was right, cheaper than the rest
I brought the mouse home, shining with pride
I wrestled with the package and almost died
finally free of the plastic cage, I saw the truth
this mouse was not for me and my apple
the pc connection was not a USB
Target mouse laughed and mocked me
Mara, 3.12.08

returns at target can be hard
they tend to frustrate and annoy
but if you have your receipt or debit/credit card
the whole process is a joy

an open package will be no worry
if it didn't work out that's fine
we can fix you right up in a hurry
unless, of course, there's a line!
Corrinna, 3.12.08

today a new mouse came home with me
It boasts the desired USB
target team members were on the ball
we made the exchange in no time at all
Mara 3.13.08

Today

2008-03-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

God is so gracious and merciful to pull me out of my rebellion. In processing I have realized a fear of failure. Oh I hope that all of this causes you readers and me to love God more. May this bring Him glory! He is the one who sustains us and holds us together. Physically, emotionally, mentally- in everything.
So, this week I have a structured plan of praying, reading, seeking advice and listening. The goal is to figure out a plan. My plan to find a plan. It is a luxury to not have to go crazily searching for a job right away. I am so thankful.

processing

2008-02-26T11:01:00.000-08:00

I should have blogged about this earlier when I was "doing well." Now I am at home with my family and not happy. I lost my job over the whole thing and now I am unmotivated, rebellious, disobedient, and easily distracted. Thats what happens when I resist God. I don't know how to fix it. I know I am in a dangerous spot. I tell myself that it's ok. God loves, me and He will not let me go. Then I remember that it is only by His grace that I am His and I am not immune to falling away from Him. My heart is prone to wander. Then I pretend like I don't care. It is not worth it. I am just too angry- is that what I am right now? Angry? Why? I am the one who sinned. God was merciful to me, but I was stupid and rebellious.

Pottery. Maybe I could do pottery for a living. I love to work with my hands.

Maybe I should be more concerned about getting a job. Obviously I will look. So, what if I cant find one? I have never had to worry about money- I mean, I have always had enough money- and I know that has not helped my character. I enjoy pretending that I don't have the money I need- I mean it seems glamorous to have to live paycheck to paycheck and know that if something unexpected happens, I will not have the money to pay for it.

O, to grace, how great a deabtor, daily I'm constrained to be
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart, Lord, take a seal it, seal it for thy courts above.

What to do:

Pottery
Back to school:
counseling
graphic design
education

Exhibit design
Graphic design- non-profit
Social advocacy

Grandma

2008-01-26T21:02:00.000-08:00

So, the reason I thought to start a blog at midnight is because I have some thoughts I would like to get out. My dear Grandma died on Wednesday. She was 92 years old, wife of a retired pastor, mother of 4, grandmother of 10, great grandmother of 4, and a great great grandmother. She was a prayer warrior and an encourager, a generous hostess, a follower of Jesus Christ and a worshipper of God. And much much more. A few years ago I came home and sorted through all of the letters and cards I had received. I found that I had more mail from my Grandma and Grandpa Whitney than anyone else by far. When we talked on the phone she would ask me about my friends and cats by name. She cared about the things I cared about. She made me feel like I was her only grandaugheter. We were all her favorite.

I love the hope of heaven that we have in Jesus. I love that she is worshipping God face to face and no longer struggling with pain, sin, sorrow, and all the trials on earth. She went peacefully they said, I think that means she went in joyful anticipation.

Today was the funeral. It was a good time to really process the fact that she is gone. The hardest thing for me was to see my Grandpa cry. They were married for 67 years. The pastor read a poem that Grandpa wrote to Grandma before they were married. He called her his "sweet girl" and said that he could not get along without her. When we all stood to go he was having a hard time walking (partly due to his health, missing a dr. appointment, and low blood sugar) so he sat down in a pew and just cried. I will never forget that. He was also still telling jokes on Monday at the hospital. A couple months ago I saw him standing behind Grandma and stroking her white hair in silly, fun, but loving affection.

The last thing Grandma said to me- in a hoarse voice and short breaths- I love you very very much. She actually said it over and over. Her mind was sharp, she wanted me to remember. She was thinking about other people even as she was dying. Praise God for His spirit in her.

What a comfort to know that our God is all powerful. He is good and His ways are good. So much higher than our ways. Wow! Grandma had SO much love for SO many people- that could only come from God. Praise Him for showing His love through her!

first entry

2008-01-26T20:52:00.001-08:00

Woah, this is exciting. I have a blog again. I guess I should explain the title. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. Thats funny. It says be glad in it. Well, I am off to a great start mis-quoting scripture in the title of my blog. But you get the idea. The title is a reminder to me that God made to today, and I should live it and be glad and rejoice.

In case you care to read about a past chapter of my life you can look at marainmexico.blogspot.com

So, I live in Raleigh now and I am (by God's grace) surprisingly content. :)